The Struggle is Real...

Many of you may be wondering why I haven't been posting. I'd love to say that I've been busy and just simply couldn't find the time but I'd be lying. The truth is that writing it down makes it real. Writing down that for the first time ever I'm having self esteem issues makes the struggle real. I haven't lost the battle because I'm not done fighting but I have been in somewhat of a rut. I've been going through emotions that I've never had before about my body and who I am as a person. I search deep into my soul trying to find the answer to my problems but I don't seem to find one. It's quite difficult to be happy and unhappy at the same time. A lot of amazing and wonderful blessings have come my way and in most every other aspect in my life I am quite blissfully happy. I've moved in with the love of my life and although there are struggles for the most part we are both extremely happy. I don't want anyone to think that my body issues have anything to do with those changes in my life. Those issues are mine, I have to own them. My weight loss has come to a stand still and not even a plateau it's actually more like little hills I'm up and down but all within a few pounds. I attribute this mostly to a drastic schedule and life change. I became complacent I stopped being diligent and persistent in my good life style choices I slacked off, I got in a rut, I fell off the hypothetical wagon, however you'd like to word it it happened and I'm ashamed. I think that's the biggest struggle of all, the shame I feel for letting myself down, for letting my readers down. It feels good putting it into words and being vulnerable with myself and my biggest supporters. Thank you for being patient thank you sister for being persistent about me blogging. Today I choose to begin somewhere and for me blogging is the first step to getting back control over my life.